Its been a while, and the truth isn’t what I wanted. I could probably come up with a million excuses but its simple. I’m struggling. Even though I have an army of ways I have learnt to get myself out of this mind-set, I have found myself drifting back to old habits. Right now, life is getting on top of me and I need to stop before it snowballs. Stuff I could normally deal with day to day is exhausting and motivation to do anything (even the things I love) is gone. I am scared. Its time for a reset. If I don’t hold myself accountable then I know where this goes and it only gets harder to COME back from. I need a plan so I am going to share it with you in the hope it gives me motivation and maybe a little support because Im not great with asking for help and you never know, it might help someone else who needs to know they are not alone. Lets starts with the basics... SLEEP. Not much can be changed about this in particular because Marlowe and Henley have been poorly and I have been needed in the night more then usual so this will have to stay the same for now until they have recovered. FOOD. Old habits really do never die. Due to illness and feeling low, meals have been a total shit show. Too many take a way’s and processed “easy food” have left me feeling bloated and fed up. Must add some extra healthy meals in at least once a day and stop bloody
eating biscuits! That’s a start. EXCERCISE. This has been really tough and think this plays a huge part in why Im feeling so low. I have gone from 4-5 intense classes a week to nothing after I was diagnosed with a bulging disc and couldn’t walk for several days. Its hit my confidence with exercise because I am super cautious because I never want to feel pain like it again. I did reach out for physio privately but never getting a reply after enquiring about the costs involved has put me off. So I have managed to get hold of a treadmill to use at home. No idea how I’m going to find the motivation to use it but at least im trying. OUTSIDE. This is problematic because the weather is terrible and wheelchair services have still not provided a rain cover for Marlowe’s wheelchair. Might have to see if I can squeeze a couple of walks in between the rain showers? RELATIONSHIPS. This week im going to make it a high priority to spend some time with my wife. Between illness, appointments, money worries, sleepless nights, home-schooling, we haven’t had a minute to just be a couple. Luckily for us, for the first time in a long time we have some respite coming up where we will be child free for 4 days and we are going away together. Much needed and hopefully will be exactly what we need after weeks of extra stress. Most of all I think its important to remind myself to change the word HAVE to GET. I am so grateful for my family and my life and although some weeks are tough, I get to experience them with the most beautiful people, my family.
Im going to leave it for now as I could go on for days about all the things I want to change but don’t want to get overwhelmed. Moral of the story is depression is never cured. Only managed by the choices we make everyday to be better, do better and try.
Comentarios